The women in my life

I am still in love with the girl that now hates me because I was stupid and told her that I'm not in love with her anymore.
Even though I still love this girl, and I'm still in love with her, I don't want to be with her because she makes me cry, and I make her cry.
I'm convinced that I'm going to die alone - because no other woman would want to be with me. (Yes, I’m feeling sorry for myself - OK - my heart is broken, I'm allowed to)
I spent the good part of last month convincing myself that I'm not in love with a straight girl who is just a friend.
The girls in my res either hate me (because I like women) or are being all worried-like at the moment because I've spent the last two weeks moping.
I miss my mother like there's no tomorrow, and have spoken to her everyday since I've had my heart broken, and I still haven't told her.
Come to not telling people, the only person in this res that I actually like - yeah - didn't tell her until I got drunk and couldn't stop crying. Fun.
I have never felt more alone in my life.