Week of silence proves too much

It has been over a week since I've heard from her. I swear you would think that I'm expecting a call from God the way I jump for my phone on the rare occasion that I actually get a message. I have an essay due for tomorrow, and instead of spending my time writing the essay, I've been looking for songs to put in a c.d for her. Will think about it again in the clear light of day, but the plan so far is to mail her the c.d...Don't get me wrong - this is not a "please can we start dating" c.d, I just hate the way we are right now, and I want her to know that despite the ugliness of the moment I actually do love her, and for a really long time I was madly in love with her.
I wish she would phone me, or sms me...but I had a dream last night that she (finally) answered my call and when I had her on the phone I had nothing to say to her. I mean as much as I want her to know that I don't hate her, and that she is a really monumental part of my life - I don't think I actually want to speak to her...
I'm confused - all I know is this not knowing, this silence, it is all too much for me...