Oh! I am a complete idiot!

So went to Oh! last night, a gay bar in Melville.

Actually, Oh! was surprisingly cool (it's surprising because Oh! is sort of known for being a gay man's bar - but homos are homos right?)
Anyway - It was cool! Despite the naked men on the walls, and TV, and the oiled and greased barman - I felt at home...sort of...well it was a place that I could kiss her (I know...so much for it's over for good) and not be gawked at by dodgy men.

So we're having a good time...She's buying me tequila (I know) and we're dancing and just generally being drunk and..dare I say it...in love???

Then, me, being the big idiot that I am - think it's a good idea to ask her about the girls (and boys...but they not quite so important) she's been with since the big split...

BAD MOVE #1
Ask her about girl no.1
No.1 is a mutual friend of our that I used to think was hot and is pretty much known for being a complete (wo)man whore.
Great.
This is who she got with...
Three times as it turns out...
Idiot me thought they only got together once and already that was basically killing me.
When I found out they'd been together (mind you I thought it was only once at the time) I spent the entire weekend thinking bout it...and when we were together...it's all I saw when I saw her.

So, seeing as I'm pretty upset by this news, and extremely inebriated, I think the best thing to do is to try and upset myself more by asking about girl no.2

BAD MOVE #2
She was basically having a relationship with no.2 (something she tells me today when we're fighting) Was told...

"I don't understand why you're upset with me when I cheated on HER with YOU"

I know...Then last night idiotic me asks when was the last time they were together.
MONDAY.
Monday was the last time she was with no.2
Monday - the day before I slept with her.
Monday - the day I told her what I would want to do if I had one day to live...
Oh! God I'm a complete embarrassment to the human race.

And instead of leaving with allure and mystery (both very easily achieved with smudged make-up, glazed over eyes and a runny nose) I had to follow her to her car cause she was giving me a lift home.
FUCK!

Guess I'll have to keep my glamorous exit for the next time I have my heart miserably broken.

Sometimes I feel like the entire universe is mocking me.

Last night I was a drunken idiot...
Today - a hungover idiot
And tomorrow I'll be a sad sad idiot.