Desperatly seeking

Slept until one o'clock today - and only got out of bed because I had a compulsory lecture that I needed to go to.

I can see how pathetic that is.

But I just don't care.

My life seems to be falling apart all around me - but if I actually step out of the craziness that is my head I can see that it's actually not.

On Friday I would have been with her for four years...
OK - let's re-phrase that.
On Friday we WOULD HAVE been together for four years - if last year's craziness hadn't have happened.

So Friday is an important day for me, and instead of being near her, I'm stuck 1000 km away in a small town with the craziest weather in the world.

Which is actually OK.

Having Friday be FRIDAY means that I have a reason to sit in my room and mope and sulk and not have people point and stare (yes - my paranoid self is showing her paranoid head) and ask stupid questions like if I'm OK.

Honestly, I'm excited for the chance to breathe.
I'm excited for the chance to be by myself and have time to watch movies I've wanted to watch, and sleep for 12 hours of the day, and let my mind be my mind.

Which is what I've been needing.

I need to feel as if I'm me again. Truly, essentially ME.
Hopefully this weekend of solitude will give me something vaguely resembling the crazy version of myself that I'm so desperate to see.